Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need a hoe opinion
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?