After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla