North Korea, Best Korea!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
