1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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