mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
