Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize