I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
