It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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