oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
