$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
