dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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