i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
