I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
