Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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