I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
