when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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