toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
