I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
