If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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