Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
