It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
