spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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