I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
