Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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