oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
