After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
