theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize