tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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