Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
