yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Randomize
