I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
