To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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