HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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