Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We talked him into tasing himself.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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