go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
