Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
