They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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