Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
