god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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