Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize