Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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