I wannas sexs uuuuu
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
