In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
