Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
