new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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