i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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