Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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