Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
