you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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