btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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