We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
