This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
