Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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