I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
