talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
