3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
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