Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
