Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
