I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize