at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
